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My friendlies!

Long long long time no speaks.

I thought I should stop by to let you all know that I am still alive and kicking.

I have been a busy Slinkers working my tail off trying to save monies for the HOUSE I am buying in May this year. Yes that's right. Slinkers is getting a HOUSE. 

Not even like a shack house...its a real one! Like with 4 walls (MADE OF BRICKS) and a whole roof. Holy shiznits I hear you all this really the cucumber addict we used to know?

Against all the odds, all of the rebounds, all of the falling-off-the-cucumer-wagons....I have spent quite some time in cucumber rehabs and I got my life on track. I have signed a legal agreement to say that I will not use any rooms as a cucumber farm.


Over the past few months in my spare time I have mostly watching series 3 of Sherlock, which was excellent...but not as good as series 2 in my opinion...maybe you would disagree on that?

I have been watching The Big Bang Theory like it is my oxygen and most importantly I have been getting into Game of Thrones which is....just epic. Epic in every way. Epictasticfandoobious.  

My favourite film recently is Gravity...I have NO idea why but I just loved it. It was such a simple yet amazing film. 

I have to say I still miss my fun times on DeviantART, it pains me that I can't spend time like I used to making comics and animations. Being a grown up with responsibilities just seemed to happen!

It is a good change though and I have not lost my creative side. I am working on a written thing...nothing big or serious and it is not something I can post on here because it is not the right arena...but it is something I go to when I need to release the Slinkers in me!

Also, I am still getting polite messages from people asking for permission to use stuff on their websites and things...JUST DO IT. Don't be polite!! Just use away! As long as you stick a link back to here or mention mah Slinky name next to it I really don't mind what you use the stuff for. 

Anyway, I hope you are all well. Thanks again for the birthday wishes.


  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
I miss you all my friendlies. Work is long and hard so am unable to make creations for you...but that does not stop me from discussing...IRON MAN 3 oh em jee.

Epic. Epical. Epicalish. In EVERY way.

Go see it please
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Hello my friendlies,

Firstly thank you very much for my birthday messages I think they were excellent! My birthday was good, apart from the fact that I WAS AT WORK. :icongrumpycat-plz:

So yes I have turned 24 which is acceptable as this means i am still early 20's not mid-late 20's. Many things have happened recently, my life has changed quite drastically!

I am in my own house and I have a nice shiny car! I feel as though I have landed on my paws! Work is fantastical as usual, I still love my job.

Anyway...back to srs business. I am very excited, because tomorrow I will be back in the DA world after a long time chatting with some excellent artist on the AskTheArtist facebook page. Detailz below...

Full detailz:…

I will not be able to make the whole chat, but I will be there for a while answering questions. If you are free and want to come along, i will be joined by some of my favourite people, :iconsilent-reaper:, :icongo-devil-dante:, :iconapofiss:, :iconcataclysm-x:, :iconloish: and many more! full list here:…

Come and join if you are freeee, see you tomorrow. :)
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Thanks to :iconrikuxtee: for showing me is possibly the most horrific thing I have ever heard.

I promise it isn't Kate...but it aint far off!! The Ducky-Disease is spreading!

----> :pumpkin:… :pumpkin: <----

Why am I so creeped out by it??
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
I need to run something by you...because I am starting to think I have a medical problem which causes people who work in food shops to detest me.

I was in Matlock, Derbyshire the other day to watch a fancy light show. Was with the family, it was a nice evening, we went to a chipy shop for tea.

I walked into the chipy shop and knew almost immediately that there was only one thing I fishy, no pies, no chickens...all I wanted was curry chips. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I see nothing wrong with wanting curry chips for tea. Many people eat curry chips. Curry chips are tasty.

I approached the chippy girl behind the counter, she asked what I wanted. I said curry chips. She nodded, got a plate and put lots of chips on it. It was all going very smoothly. She put the plate in front of me and said "I will just get the curry for your curry chips" and walked away.

She returned with a empty plastic pot and started to fill the pot with curry. I looked at her and said "don't worry, i'll just pour the curry straight on to my chips," and held out my hand to take the pot from her. She stopped and looked at me. She said "...You want to pour it straight onto your chips?"

Baring in mind we were eating inside the shop (hence the plate, not a takeaway box) I thought it was perfectly reasonable to reply "Yeah, there's no point in me taking the curry pot over to the table, I'll just pour it onto my chips while I'm here."

The chippy girl looked at me with utter disgust. I have never seen such a look of outrage from a chippy girl. My cousin actually started to laugh, but she shot him a look, and he stopped fastly.

I said "Is that ok? I just dont want to carry the pot over to the table"

She passed the pot at me and just...stood there...watching I poured the curry onto my chips. She didnt move at all as I poured the curry, it was like she was watching something die slowly. She looked ill. I handed the pot back to her, she took it from me in silence.

"Thanks" I said.

She said nothing.

I walked to a table and sat down...I replayed the entire thing over in my head as I waited for the others to get their food. When they sat down, I asked what I had done wrong. They had no idea. In fact, my cousin had gravy chips and apparently she had poured the gravy straight onto his chips with no issues.

I have conducted some scientific research and have discovered that when you type "curry chips" into the googles and check images...the images are all of chips covered in curry. There are no chips with a POT of curry sitting nearby. The curry is all over the chippy chips. All over. Messy curry, all over the place, no pots, no containers, no nothing.

Please see exhibit A:


As you can see, in exhibit A the curry is not in a pot. The curry has been poured expertly over the chippy chips.

Please see exhibit B:


...Further evidence to suggest that curry chips are, in their natural form, chips covered in curry. No pots necessary.

4 days later I suspect it was the pouring of the curry from the pot that she didnt like...but I'm sorry...what the hell was she expecting me to do with a pot of curry? Did she think iwas going to sip the curry from it? Did she think I was going to dip my chippy chips into it? No. I was clearly wanting curry chips...which is chips covered in curry.

After this and the incident with Subway girl (…) I am starting to think there is something horribly wrong with me.
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max

How are you?
I am fine, how are you?
I'm ok I guess...
...What's wrong?
Oh nothing...
Are you sure? You seem down...
No no...just...well...never mind....


Quick one in between these dreaded night shifts I am currently working!! I am getting notes from numerous people asking whether or not they can use my comics/animations for school projects/YouTube Vids/Personal Projects.... But by the time I've managed to get on DA to read your notes a few weeks have passed!

Know now and that you no longer need to send notes...and I no longer need to feel epic guilt for not spotting your notes sooner... You can use any of my drawings for any purpose you want, so long as you stick my Slinky name on it.

If you are using it for a school project - do whatever the hells you like.

If you are making T-Shirts - stick "Slinkers" under the pic. You can even sell them, I care not!!

The only thing I mildly dislike is people pretending that they are the person who drew/made the art...that kind of behaviour makes my slinky tail curl up in discomfort...and ninjas will most definitely be sent to teach you a lesson... :fuzzydemon:

....and even then I'm not particularly arsed!! Take pity on those who lower themselves by pretending to be something they're not.

In other nooz......

Ummmm....JKRowlings new book?

I am on page 48 and already wanting to self harm....
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max

First of all, you should know that I ate a rotten banana this morning for breakfast...and it has made me feel EXCELLENT. I'm telling you, a banana's bruised bits should always be consumed. They are full of sugary goodness.

Now that that gem of ultimate knowledge has been passed, I would like to make you aware that I am taking part in the :iconasktheartist: interviews this Monday coming (August 13th) at 6pm PST, 2am UK time!


2 interviews have taken place so far, one with :iconsilentreaper: and another with :iconapofiss:....and they went MAGNIFICENTLY mwahahahaha.

You can see :iconsilentreaper:'s interview here: Interview with SilentReaper
Interview with *SilentReaper
Welcome to ASKtheARTIST. My name is *thefluffyshrimp and today I have the great privilege to interview *SilentReaper, artist behind the ever popular StupidFox and other great comic series.   Thank you for presenting us with this opportunity to interview you, SilentReaper.
Hey all you folks there in AtAChat! Go ahead and start posting questions now.
~random-artist101 asks, "What brought you to deviantART?"
Awesome for a first question, I was brought to deviantART by a group of artists that I knew in an Oekaki/PaintChat site called "BakaNeko." I used to draw a bunch of landscapes there and everyone on that site was so nice and helpful. So one day they just told me about deviantART and how I should post some of my stuff there. I think I still have one painting from BakaNeko up in my deviantART gallery.
~EveryoneDeservesLove asks, "How long have you been drawing?"
I've been drawing ever since I could pick up a pencil. My parents a

You can see :iconapofiss:'s interview here: interview with apofiss
Interview with *apofiss
Welcome to ASKtheARTIST. My name is thefluffyshrimp: and today I have the great privilege to interview , artist behind the ever popular Boggart series and other great works.
Hey all you folks there in AtAChat! Go ahead and start posting questions now.
asks "Apofiss, where does the inspiration for your art usually come from?"
it tends to come from daily inspirations where dA actually has a huge role in it. the artists I follow, animes and movies... it's like an outcome from it all. also, the music... it does help a lot to imagine certain atmosphere more intensively.
asks "What program do you use?"
I use photoshop and paint tool sai.; photoshop mainly for colour correction an such.
asks "How did your unique style of art evolve?"
I think it began back in 2008 when I painted the very first bubble :Dno really, the painting called ''mutual thing'' was like a certain start I think. I remember few years ago I got really inspired by cypherx (she's on dA) wo


The interview will be held in the following dAmn Chatrooms: and

AtAChat is the public room where you can send questions for the Fluffy Meister to ask me, chat freely, while watching the ATAInterview.

ATAInterview is the room in which the interview will be held in live time. You can watch the interview in live time, but will not be able to comment in there to reduce text clutter.

During the interview, you need to be in both chatrooms. ATAInterview where you watch the interview, ATAChat in which you ask the questions.

For further details go to :iconasktheartist:!

Now I will go and eat more bruised banana's.
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
My is breaking!!

I miss you my friends...and I'm sorry I've not been able to have fun with you on here in a while. Being a grown up is tough and keeps me away from my beloved computer. Job is relentless, but fortunately I love it still. It is interesting and keeps me thinking. I've just had an unpleasant month however, in which my perception of things has been challenged slightly.

I think I've been a bit naive! When I was younger I believed that adults were fantastic in general. I admired them and couldnt wait to join them! ...Then when you do join them you realise that a lot of them are just as petty, unprofessional and judgemental as 12 year old children.

I have been put in a position in which I had to challenge a department of people made up of 40 - 50 year olds...and I came out the other end as the calmer more professional individual. I received emails from these people which were so angry that i'd had the audacity to challenge them...they resembled notes scribbled by high school bully's.

Adults are not what they're cracked up to be...if you're young you should aim to rise above the attitudes of people in their 40's who think they can stamp on you because you are young. I hope I never become like those people. They are a let down.

The stress of this month has reminded me of how much easier life is when I was a student! I remember being able to chill at school/uni, come home and make a comic about my current favourite thing.

Then again there is also something amazing about being able to earn your own money, run your own life and most alongside people who are 20 years your senior, proving that you're as competant as them in the career you've chosen!

I had a week off last month in which :iconthefluffyshrimp: came to see England. She has had an interesting idea which I intend to take part in here on DA!

She plans to interview certain artists, it gives you a chance to ask questions of them about their art and them as people. First interview is with :iconsilentreaper:!

See more info here: :iconasktheartist:

Either way dudes I am still alive, happy and well. I miss you lots!
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Mwaaahahah I knew I could rely on you. After wading through the auditions - there were more than I expected, thanks guys! I've found at least 3 amazing voicers for animations. Waiting to hear back from them with some further auditions, but I can say that if they are up for the challenge, there will be Death Note, Harry Potter, Sherlock and Iron Man animations coming in the near future.

Well done to all who sent me an audition, there were some fantastic ones and some hilarious ones...(you know who you are). If anyone still wants to have a try, feel free to send me your voice, I have by no means run out of characters that could be voiced. Just send your auditions to if you fancy a go!



Is your voice as smooth as a baby's bottom? Is your voice as clean as a recently washed pair of boxers? Is your voice silky like a silk worm on a silky pillow? Is your voice like the voice of a 70 year old smoker with a large toad jammed inside playing an out of tune fiddle?

If your answer to the above is: Yes, Yes, Yes and No.....I am in need of your assistance.

Your Slinkers is recruiting. It is turning to you for help. It is in need....of some voice actors. Voice actors who are willing to take part in a series of Sherlock/Iron man/Death Note and Harry Potter animations. I am also planning an Avengers animation in preparation for the movie that comes out later this year.

I can not pay you...I can not give you hugs...I can not even pat you on the head with pride.....but i can sure as hell write your name in the credits and link people to your profile pages. We will need to converse on Skype. As a result we may even get to know each other as buddies. You will hear my exceptionally dull british voice over the tinternets and we will make magical things for our fellow deviants! You will most certainly become part of the creative process and your ideas and input will be appreciated!

If you have your own microphone and you are willing to join me on this animation quest of a life time, all you have to do is record yourself saying a line from any of the movies/anime/manga/novels as the following characters:

:lol: L from Death note - say any line you want from the anime/manga.

:lol: Light from Death note - same as above

:lol: Iron Man and Pepper Potts (and any hero from the Avengers) - Any line from one of the movies. Tony Stark is a cocky mother-trucker, so it needs to come across in your voice acting.

:lol: Harry, Ron, Luna, Sirius, Lupin, Snape, Hermione, Dumbledore, McGonogall from the Potter books.

:lol: Sherlock and John Watson from either the BBC version or Downey Jr films.

(If you want to do any other characters at all in the world, just do them! Could be characters from bleach or naruto if you wanted, I'm not fussed. We could throw some random characters in here and there.)

You do not have to sound just need to sound amusing. You could go completetly wild and over the top, or you can stick close to how they really sound.

Just play with it, have fun, do multiple versions if you like. Males and females needed! If you are a female wanting to try to act as one of the male characters (or vice versa), give it a go!

:lol::lol::lol::lol: If you are wanting to take part, record your lines and send them to in MP3 format! Best if you download Audacity - it's free, safe and reliable! :lol::lol::lol::lol:

Lets play!  Also: Behold this magical pumpkin of win: cookiesxsoldxhere.deviantart.c…
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max

For you non brits...Sherlock series 2...was beyond awesome. (Though apparently many of you non-brits have haxed your way into seeing it already...dark forces are at work...EXCELLENT dark forces!)

That is all I have to say.

Sherlock by AmandaTolleson

Stamp: Stop SOPA by TheRyanFord
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Hello my friends, long time no speak! (TOO LONG, I MISS MY DEVIANT FRIENDLIES)

I have been a busy Slinkers, training up for my new job with the Police. I been having lots of funs. I got a new car and I start my job in full next Monday. I am typing this to you from my house, home alone, and there is one hell of a storm going on outside...if it wasnt for my fierce guard cat, Tootie, I would be hyperventilating. It's the kind of thunder which happens right after the lightening so I know it's happening over our town... D:

As some of you may know, the most IMPORTANT day of the Slinky year is coming -  HALLOWEEN. I have said this many times before, but I will must plan your halloweenz EARLY. I am sick of hearing excuses from people who fail to properly plan and document their halloween plans in advance. You people only have yourselves to blame if your Halloween turns out to be full of lame and no sweeties. You must work HARD to achieve your Halloweeny dreams. Blueprints! Notes! Revise plans with friends and relatives! Carry out a practice Halloween if you feel it will help...just MAKE SURE IT IS AWESOMES.

:pumpkin: I have personally been planning my pumpkin since May and have reached a few alternative designs. However, I have let myself down in that the design for my 5th Pumpkin (I do 5 each year) has not been decieded. As a result, I need suggestions from you, my wise deviants. Leave some ideas in the comments, and the best suggestion will become my Pumpkin Challenge! I will upload pictures on Halloween day, so lemmie know what you think would look cool. Be creative! :pumpkin:

I've seen some wicked wicked wicked rage comic pumpkins on the it bad that I CAN'T STOP READING RAGE COMICS? I can't sleep without reading about 6 of them a night! I'm freaking obsessed. If you have no idea what Rage Comics are...#1: you have not lived....#2: we must correct your life and send you a rage link:

If you have an iPhone, get the rage faces and rage comic apps, they are TOP NOTCH.

Rage Guy Jack O Lantern by Ayehavgunne

Also, I am looking for new horror books to read during this spooky month. Any good ones you can suggest would be good!

SEND ME YOUR PUMKINNY IDEAS DEWDS, and if you have any pumpkin plans of your own, send me pictures/blueprints/evidence of your mastah plans. Pumpkins are serious business. If you haven't planned your Pumpkin yet, you are not prepared enough. I cannot stress the importance of this...PLAN. PREPARE. SUCCEED.
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Dudes, I'm in! I am exploring the site right now, I will update this journal with opinions later. (Seems wicked so far!!)

If you have access, stick your username in the comments of this journal and I will add you! Apparently we can track each others progress which is awesomes. My username is NoxMugwump71.
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
:iconexcitedplz: EXCITING TIMES, iDucky is loose in the App store!

If you have an iPhone, iTouch/Pod or iPad you can now download him for FREE from the app store here:

iDucky Download

Or simply type 'iDucky' into the app store search bar and he will pop up.

Remember, I have put him up for free for you guys because of all of the Ducky support you have given me. But he is only free until Thursday 30th so get him way before then!

However the most important thing for me is:

If you download iDucky, Please do your Slinkers a massive favour, and LEAVE A REVIEW. You can do this in the App Store, at the bottom of the page underneath the sample pictures there is a review button. All you have to do is type a sentance saying what you think, and give it a vote out of 5! Would take 30 seonds!

The more reviews it gets, the better the app will sell later on after you've all got your free versions. Also, you will notice on the "About" page of the app there is a share button. Please click that, sign into facebook, and share iDucky with your school friends, work colleagues and members of your family. It will just put ducky in a status and you can write whatever message you want!

I really hope you enjoy the app, dudes, and if you have any suggestions for sounds on version 2, leave a comment here or send us a message from the website:…

I'M STUPIDLY HAPPY, I can't believe it's actually in the app store jeez. Anything is possible my friends! :faint:

Slinkers Youtube   Ducky Facebook

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iDucky Facebook Official iDucky Website

iDucky Download

Download Ducky sounds for your mobile phone here:…
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Those of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter will already know this, but I have experienced an Amazon Fail of epic proportions. However, something else has happened to me this week that none of you know about. I have also experienced an epic car fail. I can't quite figure out which fail was more heanous, so I will discuss both and leave the decision to you.

Fail 1: Amazon

Three weeks ago I was in the Leisure Centre, (my new place of work) and I was talking to one of the pool's lifguards about the telly box. The lifeguard was called Dan, and he said to me "You know what, Slinkers? I'm sick of the TV. There's nothing good on these days."

I nodded in agreement as a very fat man waddled out of the changing rooms in a very tight pair of speedo's. "I can't find any decent series to get into," he continued, eyeing the fat mans backside suspiciously. "I tried that 'criminal minds' show but it got boring after two episodes."

"Yeah I'm not watching anything good at the moment, either." I sighed. "Although that "Game of Thrones" series looks pretty good."

Dan whirled around and grabbed my shoulders all of a sudden. He got right up close to my face and hissed, creepily; "haveyoureadthebook?"  

I stared at him for a little while. "...No?"

"You should totally read it." he murmered, still staring at my face.  

"...Maybe I will--"

"No, Slinkers." He whispered. "There is no maybe. You will read that book." The other lifeguards had started to stare, and Dan was still leaning uncomfortably close to my face, so I felt like going along with what he was saying in the hopes that he'd relax.

"OK, dan. I'll read the book."

"It's not just one book." He continued, glancing around as though this was top secret information. "It is a series of books."

"Oh right. How many?"

"Seven," he spat excitedly.

"Wow, seven?"

"Yes. You must read them all."

"The last time I read a seven book series it took me ten years," I said.

"Don't tell me they were the Harry Potter books..."

"Well, yes."

"Jeez. Listen, This series wont take ten years cause most of books are already out."

"That's not the point--"

"Slinkers! You can't watch the series without reading the books. You can't. The books are amazing. They are ten times better than Harry Potter. They are epic awesome in ways you will never understand until you have read them. Now get out your phone and order the first book."

"Dan, I--"



So I whipped out my phone and bought "A game of thrones" from amazon.

Delivery date: "June 10 - June 15"

On JUNE 22ND, the package arrives. By now I have read online about the series and have become extremely excited about reading the first book. I was even more excited because the book was late. I dunno why the lateness made it more exciting but whatever, that's how it went. The package could not have been covered in more sellotape. I got out the snippers, hacked away at the wrappings. Didn't even bother to open the invoice. Yanked the book out, held it up the light in all it's shining see this:


A blatant CHUNK of the book, missing.

If my cousin, sisters and mother hadn't been there at the moment of the unwrapping, I may have done a suicide. Instead,  I uploaded the picture to Fail Blog:…

Fail 2: Car

A horrendous argument between myself and my cousin was in full swing. I was so angry, I'd stormed out of the house and got into my car. Started engine, rolled down window, looked at her cooly, said "I dont have time for this. I'm a busy person."

Start to drive away smugly, having had the last word.


Car rolls to an embarrasing stop.

Cousin cackles viciously as I restart engine and drive away in humiliation.

Fail week? Yes.

Slinkers Youtube   Ducky Facebook

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iDucky Facebook Official iDucky Website

Download Ducky sounds for your mobile phone here:…
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Hey fellers, exciting times in Slinky Land!

The iDucky app has finally been sent off to Apple for review and hopefully, if all goes well, it'll be in the AppStore within the next 10 days!

Here's the deal though, and this is important! If you have an iPhone, iPad or iPod/Touch you need to keep an eye on the iDucky Facebook page:

iDucky Facebook

This is because for the first two days the App will be free for you all. If you don't get it in the first two days you'll have to pay 59p (99cents) to get it on your device.

I can also announce the opening of the iDucky Website:

Official iDucky Website

Just want to thank all of you for the Ducky support, I hope you enjoy the app if you can get it. You dudes without apple products, I'm very seriously looking into setting up iDucky for the android market so fingers crossed there!

Slinkers Youtube   Ducky Facebook

Slinkers Facebook   Slinky Commissions

Slinkers Formspring   Slinkers Twitter

iDucky Facebook Official iDucky Website

Download Ducky sounds for your mobile phone here:…
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
So Slinky Slinkers Facebook account breaks the FB rules and as a result, it has been nuked.

Apparently I am not allowed to have a Facebook Account unless I use my "real name". As you all know, my real name is nothing other than "Slinkers" so I am feeling bruised by this accusation. So what if I cant find my Slinky Birth Certificate? I was born a Slinkers...I will die a Slinkers....and so I think I have the right to join facebook as nothing other than a Slinkers.

I am investigating whether or not I can fight to have my account back, but it's not looking good. Without a birth certificate, Drivers License or another form of ID proving that my name is Slinkers they said they will not revive my page.

I would like to take this moment to say that I believe Facebook is missing a trick here. People all over the world create duel identities on the internet. I should be able to communicate with you, my friends from the internet, through my identity as Slinkers.

Yes, I could create a "fan page". Yes that would be allowed under Facebooks rules. However, that removes a level of communication I have with you. I don't want a list of "fans" I want a list of "friends". I avoided the fan page route for this very reason.

Facebook is effictively saying "NO. You can only be one person. One identity. One face. One name. One set of friends."

I am at risk of sinking into a Slinky depression over this unexpected turn of events. Not only has my Slinky identity been sat on by the fat arse of Facebook - but the cucumbers of the world have been infected by E.coli:…

WHAT IS GOING ON? I need a coffee.
  • Mood: b0x0rz-less
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max
Today I went to the supermarket to get some foods (cucumbers) and I have to admit, I was in a weird mood.

I hadn't been sleeping great, I had itchy eyes, I'd spent another week hunting for better jobs with no success...and I'd stubbed my toe on my way out of the house. As a result, I was feeling and acting like a bit of a zombee. I just wanted to get the hell out of the supermarket and back home for a snooze as fast as possible. The shop was fairly quiet, so I got all the stuff I needed and went to the checkout.

As I stood in the queue, the couple in front of me remembered about a million things they had forgotten and kept scooting off to grab them. I suppose they saw that I was the only one waiting and decided it'd be OK to hold me up. No problem. I really didn't mind. I just stood there and waited like a good Slinkers. In fact, I sort of forgot where I was and went into a daydream.

All of a sudden, a man in his 50's appeared at the till opposite me. I happened to look up from my cucumbers to see that he was wearing a 'weird fish' jumper very similar to one my dad wears. Unfortunatly in my dozey state, I must've been staring at him, because when I looked at his face I realised that he was looking at me angrily.  

I have drawn a picture of the situation below:


As you can see, myself and the man were pretty much opposite each other. When our eyes met I was shocked, because I hadn't expected him to be looking at me. Then something horrific happened.

Neither of us looked away.

We just stared. I realised very quickly that I had unwittingly stumbled into a staring contest with this angry man. He looked like he was in a foul mood and had no intention of being the first to look away...but I was so confused by what was going on, it didn't cross my mind to look away either.

After what felt like a couple of years, he must have decided that he'd had enough of the staring, because he slammed his tin of tuna onto the till and said, "What the hell are you looking at?" His words seemed to travel half way across the building and everyone nearby, including the forgetful couple, stopped what they were doing to stare at us both.

I honestly had no idea what to say, so I sort of blurted out the words "weird fish jumper".

Suddenly he looked doubly offended and I instantly felt compelled point out that his jumper was made by weird fish, and that I wasn't actually describing his clothing as weird and fishy. But before I could speak again he had started slamming all his shit onto the till. Then he looked at the forgetful couple (who were now also staring at him) and said "What? Have I got something sticking out of my head?!"

I had picked the wrong guy to stare at, he was going crazy talking to himself. The till guys looked at each other and grinned, like it was the best thing they'd seen all day. Then of course I had to start packing my shopping and paying the till peoples with this guy muttering to himself right opposite me the whole time.

It was possibly the most awkward thing that's ever happened to me at a till. Unfortunately me and this guy finished packing and paying at around about the same time, so right as I started walking towards the exit, he did as well. He was stomping literally a few inches behind me, i kept thinking his feet would catch the back of my shoes, and he did that all the way out until I got near my car.

Absolute nutter. Totally crazy. I had comitted a terrible crime starting at him and he wanted me to know it.

Worst of all, I live in a small town. We will probably meet again.

On the plus side, I didn't feel tired anymore!

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A whole one. Today. In the kitchen. I was terrified.

In the fridge sat the raw chicken and I picked it up. I read the date on the plastic...08/04/2011. Tomorrow. The chicken would go off tomorrow. I decided that it was my duty to cook that chicken. If I didn't cook it, it would have died for nothing.

Who actually knows how to cook a chicken anyway? They say it's easy but it's not. I'll tell you what's easy, it's easy to cook a tin of beans. Just stick the tin of beans in your microwave, set it going, wait for the explosion and poof: a cooked tin of beans.

A chicken though...that's different. What the hell do you put on the chicken before you cook it? Salt...pepper...butter...lemon...lime...marmite...ALL OF THESE THINGS were suggested on the internets. In the end I settled for salt and pepper.

So i smudged salt and pepper into the chicken skins. Then I found a deep tray like the ones pictured in google images. I put the chicken into the tray, sat it on tin foils cause I didn't want to have to clean the tray. Then I read on the internet that I should cover the chicken with foil so that it cooks inside, so I did that too.

Turned oven on, bunged chicken inside, and left it for 1 hr 30 mins.

Jessica my sister walked in. She said "ooh that smells nice...but you should take the foil off the top so that the skin gets all crispy."

"Excellent idea," i said. Took the chicken out, took off the foil, put chicken back in.

2 hours later, when the Matrix finished playing on TV...I thought I could smell something funny coming from the kitchen.

I dunno what happened, I reckon i was too busy watching Neo pull his seriousface :iconneoplz:...but someone must have snuck into my house and swapped my amazingly cooked chicken for something that looked like this:


Who the hell did that to me? I really want to know why someone felt compelled to swap my chicken for a burned one. Did they wake up in the morning and decide to destroy my self confidence?

Has this sorcery every happened to you, cause I'd like to know if it has. I'm feeling emo as hell over this clucky disaster.

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DON'T PANIC, it is only Mothers Day in the UK. :'D

Is it bad that I didn't know it was mothers day today until 5pm yesterday afternoon? :fear:

PANIC ensued in my Slinkery world, but it was OK...i had a towel. :D Today I made my ma ---> :iconotterwen: a cup of tea, some nice food stuff and I got her a prezzy. I AM A GOOD SPAWN.

Tell me my UK friendlies, what have you done for yo momma's? If you are not in the UK - tell me what you WILL do for yo momma's when Mothers Day comes.

Here is a Mothers Day animation me and Joel made about two years ago. We had just watched The Watchmen for the first time and we a creepy mood >:} --->

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Dudes, I'm in a right mess. My goddamned computer wont let me do ANYTHING complex right now and I'm having a slight panic attack.

I am applying for a job which requires me to make an animation for YouTube. I can't convert it from .swf to .mov at all, my computer just wont accept me downloading any more converter programmes.

I need to ask you guys for a massive favour - would someone with a converter allow me to send you the .swf file in an email for you to convert for me? I will never forget your act of kindness in my Slinky moment of need. Animation is due online on Thursday 24th so TIME IS SHORT.

Please contact me asap if you can help! My email address is - send me an email in there and I'll get back to you.

Thank you my friendlies
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