Today I went to the supermarket to get some foods (cucumbers) and I have to admit, I was in a weird mood.
I hadn't been sleeping great, I had itchy eyes, I'd spent another week hunting for better jobs with no success...and I'd stubbed my toe on my way out of the house. As a result, I was feeling and acting like a bit of a zombee. I just wanted to get the hell out of the supermarket and back home for a snooze as fast as possible. The shop was fairly quiet, so I got all the stuff I needed and went to the checkout.
As I stood in the queue, the couple in front of me remembered about a million things they had forgotten and kept scooting off to grab them. I suppose they saw that I was the only one waiting and decided it'd be OK to hold me up. No problem. I really didn't mind. I just stood there and waited like a good Slinkers. In fact, I sort of forgot where I was and went into a daydream.
All of a sudden, a man in his 50's appeared at the till opposite me. I happened to look up from my cucumbers to see that he was wearing a 'weird fish' jumper very similar to one my dad wears. Unfortunatly in my dozey state, I must've been staring at him, because when I looked at his face I realised that he was looking at me angrily.
I have drawn a picture of the situation below:
As you can see, myself and the man were pretty much opposite each other. When our eyes met I was shocked, because I hadn't expected him to be looking at me. Then something horrific happened.
Neither of us looked away.
We just stared. I realised very quickly that I had unwittingly stumbled into a staring contest with this angry man. He looked like he was in a foul mood and had no intention of being the first to look away...but I was so confused by what was going on, it didn't cross my mind to look away either.
After what felt like a couple of years, he must have decided that he'd had enough of the staring, because he slammed his tin of tuna onto the till and said, "What the hell are you looking at?" His words seemed to travel half way across the building and everyone nearby, including the forgetful couple, stopped what they were doing to stare at us both.
I honestly had no idea what to say, so I sort of blurted out the words "weird fish jumper".
Suddenly he looked doubly offended and I instantly felt compelled point out that his jumper was made by weird fish, and that I wasn't actually describing his clothing as weird and fishy. But before I could speak again he had started slamming all his shit onto the till. Then he looked at the forgetful couple (who were now also staring at him) and said "What? Have I got something sticking out of my head?!"
I had picked the wrong guy to stare at, he was going crazy talking to himself. The till guys looked at each other and grinned, like it was the best thing they'd seen all day. Then of course I had to start packing my shopping and paying the till peoples with this guy muttering to himself right opposite me the whole time.
It was possibly the most awkward thing that's ever happened to me at a till. Unfortunately me and this guy finished packing and paying at around about the same time, so right as I started walking towards the exit, he did as well. He was stomping literally a few inches behind me, i kept thinking his feet would catch the back of my shoes, and he did that all the way out until I got near my car.
Absolute nutter. Totally crazy. I had comitted a terrible crime starting at him and he wanted me to know it.
Worst of all, I live in a small town. We will probably meet again.
"Absolute nutter. Totally crazy. I had comitted a terrible crime starting at him and he wanted me to know it." Sorry for being a nit-pick~ >.> Anyway, I'm sure this whole thing will blow over~ ...Sooner or later~
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More