The Subways

Feb 7, 20107 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Feb 7, 2010

3.1K Views

Yo, long time NO INTERNET.

I have been having cunneckshin troubles. To pass the time, I have been working very hard. ....Working very hard at re-watching the entire Death Note series.

I forgot how good it is. Goddamnit. It's so good. God. I'm obsessed all over again. I've even made some new Death Note comics. I'll be posting them soon.

Now, before I tell you a story about something that happened to me the other day, I want to show you this cool little thing I have found called formspring.me. What it is, it's a question/answer website. What you do is, you ask people questions...and then what they do is...is...they answer. ...Geddit?

Here is my one: www.formspring.me/Slinkers

What you can do is, you can ask me questions in this website. Then what I can do is, I can answer your questions. What this means is, my inbox will be less clogged up with questions, which also means that you are more likely to get a response from me. See how it works? Do you see? I can see, but can you see? Do you have the eyes? (<--- lol i am so DN obsessed)

OK that is all I have to say about seeing. Now I'm going to tell you a story. Are you ready for the story? Sit down and get ready for the story.

Here is the story:

It was two days ago and I was in the subways. When I say the subways, I mean the sammich shop. It was a small shop near where I live, and it was nearly closing time. I was the only customer in the place. The girly behind the bar said "Next pleez", even though there was no one else around. I assumed that she was talking to me, did a friendly-customer-face and said "Please can I have a subway melt?"

She glanced at the food boxes then said sadly, "Unfortunately we don't have any of the meats required for a subway melt."

I felt let down, but it didn't matter. I had a backup plan. "That's OK subway girl...instead I will have a tuna sub."

"I'm sorry, but we are out of the tunas," she replied. This was surprising. My backup plan had failed, but it was still OK. I had a backup plan for the backup plan.

"Nevermind..." I said and she seemed relieved that I wasn't annoyed. "Do you happen to have the meats for a chicken and bacon ranch?" I asked.

She frowned then, and I knew that it was bad news. "We have the chicken meats, but no bacons left I am afraid."

This was unexpected. For a moment I was worried and so was she. This was not going well at all…but it was still OK. I'd had an idea. "No problem, I will have a chicken and bacon ranch without the bacon." It was a brilliant plan. She thought so too, I could tell because she grinned.

"That's fine," the subway girl said, but she paused. After a bit of thinking she said, "maybe instead you should have the chicken tikka. That way you can pay less moneys but have more chickens."

I was impressed, her plan made a lot of sense, so I agreed to have the chicken tikka. She looked like she was about to start making it, but when she looked for the chicken tikka section of the food boxes, we both saw that it was empty. I felt sick…this was a disaster. We stared at the empty box for a while before she gave me an awkward laugh and said that they seemed to be out of the chicken tikkas.

I did the awkward laugh back and said "this is why I shouldn't leave it to the last minute to get my subways."

"Yes," she said. "You should probably get your subways earlier in future."

Then I pointed out that, to be fair, Subway should probably shut earlier than this if it has run out of subway foods to sell...

Somewhere along the line of me saying this, however, the subway girl became offended. I have no idea what happened, I had said the whole thing with my i'm 100% cool with this situation face on, and even did another laugh at the end to make it non-offensive. But she was offended for sure. She said with an annoyed-face:

"The reason we run out of the subway meats is because most customers by the most popular ones all the time. If they asked for less popular ones every now and again, stuff like this wouldn't happen."

Then I did a very stupid thing and laughed in her face. Like, full on laughed. I had never heard such a funny from a subway girl in my entire life. At first I genuinely thought she had just made a joke, but it became clear to me mid-laugh that she was being serious. This caused even more problems, however, because as I realised that she hadn't been joking, the more funny I found it and the harder I laughed.

Obviously, she was now even more offended than before and I quickly mid-laugh tried to turn it into a laugh of agreement rather than a laugh of 'you are an idiot'.

I said "I guess you're right," trying very hard not to sound sarcastic. I was sorry for laughing at her, she seemed upset.

It was all very horrible after that though. She had not forgiven me for laughing, and I was running out of sandwich ideas. The subway guy on till had been silently listening to the entire conversation.

We eventually decided that my original idea to have a chicken and bacon ranch without the bacons was the way to go. Then the worst thing in the world happened. She turned around to get the bread from the oven, and froze. I wanted to die, something else had gone wrong. After a long pause, she turned back to face me suddenly with a very defiant but composed look on her face. I waited. What was it this time.

"We seem to have run out of bread."

I couldn't believe it. I did this for about ten hours --->

"...You have no bread?"

"We have run out." She confirmed.

"That's a shame," I said. "Thanks anyway."

"Mmhmm." she said. She wasn't even looking at me anymore.

I felt like suggesting that it was probably because the bread was so popular, but I think she may have stabbed me. Instead I walked out of there as fast as I could without looking like I was in a rush. As I passed the till guy, he looked at me like I was Hitler.

That is the end of the story. I wanted to tell you it because it has been on my mind for the past two days…it was kind of traumatic. I can never go to that subway again.